Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Shark

I've lost her. The shark died in my dining room the other day. Keith tried to revive her but she was pronounced at approximately 9:00 a.m. that morning.

From an older blog, dated August 2005:

Not My Grandmother's Iron

Before K left for work and the shops, I explained:

"I need a really, really good iron because I'm very bad at it. A proficient ironer can get away with using the cheapest iron because she knows what to do with it; I don't know what the %!& I'm doing."

He must have agreed. Leave it to him to come home with the most elaborate 'ironing system' that I've ever seen.

I've never had to read an instruction manual before using an iron until now. The little promo gadget: a recorded voice message on a black disk whose little red button (beneath the 3-D image), when pressed, boasts its 'X-tended Steam Burst' capabilities. It works vertically and horizontally. But that's not all. It features:

Intelligent electronic controls
360 degree pivot, extra long 12 ft cord
1700 watts of steam power
Electronic controls displays set and current
iron temperature
Advanced Electronic Technology Multi-Position Auto
Shut-Off, automatically turns iron off from any position
Stainless steel
soleplate for maximum glide-ability and heat retention
Anti-drip feature
cuts off water when temperature is too low
Permanent anti-calcium filter
prolongs the life of the iron
Self cleaning feature flushes the internal
soleplate with water

So, now my husband, when he leaves the home everyday, will leave in crisper clothes. He'll smile (ping!) as he dons his hat and leaves with his briefcase. I -- and my smartly-dressed child -- will follow him to the door, waving and smiling because I know the best housekeeping secret on the block: the Shark Intelligent Electronic Iron.

*first image: Household Management Illustrated (1953)
**second image

No comments:

Post a Comment